Fear turns into Usefulness

Fear can be headier than whiskey, once man has acquired a taste for it.

 ~ Donald Dowes

Trembling, I stepped from the hospital a broken man. Fear sobered me for a bit. Then came the insidious insanity of that first drink, and on Armistice Day 1934, I was off again. Everyone became resigned to the certainty that I would have to be shut up somewhere, or would stumble along to a miserable end. How dark it is before the dawn! In reality that was the beginning of my last debauch. I was soon to be catapulted into what I like to call the fourth dimension of existence. I was to know happiness, peace, and usefulness, in a way of life that is incredibly more wonderful as time passes. - Page 8 of Alcoholic's Anonymous

I don't know any people that ever got sucked into an addiction, had planed it that way.  But we found our friend (John Barleycorn, or other drug) numbed us from the fear of dealing with reality.  And we kept going back for more.  Soon the party was over. Some of us figured that out after rather quickly, at a young age and some of us, it took decades...

One thing is clear, though. The 12 Steps, and the fellowship of others suffering the same insanity brings us back from the brink of utter disaster. And then one day, the amazing thing happens, we realized that we helped someone else from brink of disaster. Gave them hope with our words, and encouragement.  Then we've seen we've come full circle.

It's nice to know today that I don't have to fear who I am.  It's incredible. 

Photo:  Some rights reserved by DVIDSHUB

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Disclaimer: This blog is not an official blog of any organization, it's simply a fellowship of recovering souls sharing their experiences, strength and hope. We encourage you to comment or to share your own experiences. Please feel free to Sign up to our email list to get these postings in your in-box. - Thanks!

More then you can Chew

A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew.
- Herb Caen

Many alcoholics are enthusiasts. They run to extremes. At the beginning of recovery a man will take, as a rule, one of two directions. He may either plunge into a frantic attempt to get on his feet in business, or he may be so enthralled by his new life that he talks or thinks of little else. In either case certain family problems will arise. With these we have had experience galore. Page 126 of Alcoholics Anonymous. 

Looking at what's written in the Big Book, it's easy to see why we can act like were more then just a little crazy. Some of us are more Manic then others.  Some of us drunks might even need help for a long time from the professional (MD) community.  It's hard for me to find the correct middle ground sometimes.  At least I know why, and can try to curb myself.

Today I remind myself that progress, not perfection is key.

Photo Credit:  Flickr Creative Commons.

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Disclaimer: This blog is not an official blog of any organization, it's simply a fellowship of recovering souls sharing their experiences, strength and hope. We encourage you to comment or to share your own experiences. Please feel free to Sign up to our email list to get these postings in your in-box. - Thanks!

The Art of Giving

God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well.
- Voltaire

You've heard the term "You have to give it way to keep it"?  In recovery the IT is your sobriety.  But how do we give that away? By being there for someone if they need us, make ourselves useful with service work, and by doing the next right thing.  This isn't just limited to those that you know in recovery, it's with everyone that you come in contact with.

Give a complement, helping hand, a positive suggestion, or even just a positive thought or prayer.

I've mentioned the "Law of Giving" in a previous post.  It's a very POWERFUL thing.

I'm happy today, because I can give away some happiness. 

* Photo compliments of Eric Kong. http://erickongpix.wordpress.com/

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Disclaimer: This blog is not an official blog of any organization, it's simply a fellowship of recovering souls sharing their experiences, strength and hope. We encourage you to comment or to share your own experiences. Please feel free to Sign up to our email list to get these postings in your in-box. - Thanks!

Missed Posts...

I've wondered if I were to post a post to state that I wasn't going to post a post, due the fact that I had to work. But that Post would be a post mortem post. Wouldn't it?

 I'd think that maybe I'm writing a post in Post Boredom.

Anonymity or Not

Alcohol is a very patient drug. It will wait for the alcoholic to pick it up one more time.
- Mercedes McCambridge

I've enjoyed the short break from thinking up some new posts, but now it's time for me to put my thinking cap back on. :)   But I did enjoy sharing the Deepak Chopra content.  I hope some will find it useful. 

I struggled a little for a short time, whether or not to be anonymous with my posts, and went against it.  Not that I'm looking for grand praises, or fame.  But I thought that maybe there were many recovery sites that were deadly serious, and dull.  I think the words that I'm looking for might be "sterile like a doctors office".   I've broken my anonymity not for fame or fortune, but for reasons of trust.  People tend to trust you, if they know who you are. I'm not out to break someone else's.  I don't care about the dirty scoops about Charlie Sheen, or Amy Winehouse.   I'm just another drunk that hopes that another drunk can get the message of hope, see it, and reaches for it. 

I also decided that if others know who I am, and have a friend or loved one, they'll know how to reach me, and I might be able to help them, if they wish.  I do feel that with the noise of the internet, that I'm just one in a crowd. 

I wasn't worried if anyone knew who I was when I was stumbling around drunk in public, and acting shameful.  So I'm not going to be concerned if I'm seen sober. In public. 

Today, I don't have to worry about waking up with regret due to drunkenness.

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Disclaimer: This blog is not an official blog of any organization, it's simply a fellowship of recovering souls sharing their experiences, strength and hope. We encourage you to comment or to share your own experiences. Please feel free to Sign up to our email list to get these postings in your in-box. - Thanks!

We Are Not an Island unto Ourselves

No man is an island entire of itself; 

every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; 

 - John Donne

From pg 18 in the BB.... 

An Illness of this sort -- and we have come to believe it an illness -- involves those about us in a way that no other human sickness can.  If a person has cancer all are sorry for him and no one is angry or hurt.  But not so with the alcoholic illness, for with it there goes annihilation of all things worth while in life.  It engulfs all whose lives touch the sufferer's.  It brings misunderstanding, fierce resentment, financial insecurity, disgusted friends and employers, warped lives of blameless children, sad wives and parents -- anyone can increase the list.

I've been married 4 times and been involved in 2 long term relationships.  I'm not saying that as a badge of honor.  But, more of how when drinking I used up people.  My alcoholism affected every person I had a relationship with that lasted longer then a few minutes.  I wasn't a falling down drunk....except the time I passed out on the bathroom...closer to the toilet.  Lies I told to maintain my drinking the way I wanted to, needed to.  Wasted time dreaming of the ways I was going to get ahead, get even, get rich....get drunk.  sigh.

What happened to me was that I dragged down everyone.  I had become an enigma wrapped in a mystery.   My malaise was palpable.  No one trusted me once they got to know me.  Heck, didn't even trust myself.

So, what's different today?  How did I manage to get out of the malstrom of addiction?

I asked God (Capitol G, Big God) for help in the bunk of a Peterbilt. But, I still wasn't at my bottom.  See, I wasn't quite ready to stop. I had to see that I had hurt another person.  Don't ask me why it was so important that I make things right with my wife.  I mean that I usually just took off.  I had become so tired of "the look".  The loss of emotion in her eyes.

Photo Credit: Oregon State University Archives' photo-stream

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Disclaimer: This blog is not an official blog of any organization, it's simply a fellowship recovering souls sharing their experiences, strength and hope. We encourage you to comment or to share your own experiences. Please feel free to Sign up to our email list to get these postings in your in-box. - Thanks!

The Law of "Dharma" or Purpose in Life, Law #7

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship.
- Buddha

7) The Law of "Dharma" or Purpose in Life
The seventh spiritual law of success is the Law of Dharma. (Dharma is a Sanskrit word that means "purpose in life.") This law says that we have taken manifestation in physical form to fulfill a purpose. You have a unique talent and a unique way of expressing it. There is something that you can do better than anyone else in the whole world--and for every unique talent and unique expression of that talent, there are also unique needs. When these needs are matched with the creative expression of your talent, that is the spark that creates affluence. Expressing your talents to fulfill needs creates unlimited wealth and abundance. There are three components to the Law of Dharma.

• The first says that each of us is here to discover our true Self. 

• The second component is to express our unique talents; the expression of that talent takes you into timeless awareness. 

• The third component is service to humanity. 

When you combine the ability to express your unique talent with service to humanity, then you make full use of the Law of Dharma. The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success are powerful principles that will enable you to attain self-mastery. If you put your attention on these laws and practice the steps outlined above, you will see that you can manifest anything you want--all the affluence, money and success you desire. You will also see that your life becomes more joyful and abundant in every way, for these laws are also the spiritual laws of life that make living worthwhile.
- Deepak Chopra

Along with the 12 steps, outlined in Alcoholic's Anonymous, this book was one of the first one's suggested to me from another member.  As I was searching for a way to live in a more spiritual sense, and quite the noise in my head.

Today, I'll be the best me that I can be, and not stress if I'm only making progress, not perfection.


Below is an (my) Amazon.com link to the book, and you'll also be able to grab an audio version of it too. - It's only on two CD's if you choose to get an audio book. Audible also has a great collection of Deepak Chopra's books too.
The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success: A Practical Guide to the Fulfillment of Your Dreams

I hope that you find this blog helpful, and feel free to comment below.

Photo Credit: The Library of Congress