My Higher Power

"Religion is all bunk."

- Thomas A. Edison

I'd like to share what I've come to know as my own higher power.  Mind you, that I think that your relationship with your understanding of your God, is as personal and unique as you are.  I'm not going to try to persuade you to think like I do. I've had others try to tell me that, and I did not care for it.  I had a religious upbringing. I've heard others say that they're a recovering Catholic, or Mormon, etc. Well, if that's the case, I'm a recovering SDA (Seventh Day Adventists).  I went to their Churches, and Schools.  There are many fine people that practice their teachings.  I only tell you this info as a background as to where I come from, not to berate anyone's understanding of God. 

After many years of trying to figure out who my God was, how he worked, etc, I've come up with this explanation. 

What he's not: He's not sitting on a cloud with angels strumming harps, waiting to ZAP us with either rewards or punishments. Nor is he waiting around to fulfill our prayer wish list, like a child that wants Santa to fulfill his Christmas list.  Since he's not sitting around waiting to reward or punish us, we have the freedom of thought and deeds.  Nothing is predestined. 

What he is: He's the mind behind the heavens. I really don't think of God as a magician, but rather as a Old Scientist alien to us, of course,  as we know not his power, but we can see what he and his angels have created in the heaves to see, and the life on our planet to marvel after. I also think he has a sense of humor. Look at the crazy pets we have, do they not give us joy? 

The Laws of God are like those of physics, as I may have mentioned in a previous post. They're not hateful, they are not spiteful, they simply are. 

Live and Let Live

Decay and Chicanery

Bodily decay is gloomy in prospect, but of all human contemplations the most abhorrent is body without mind. -Thomas Jefferson

I read this today in the Big Book, Page 11...

The wars which had been fought, the burnings and chicanery that religious dispute had facilitated, made me sick. I honestly doubted whether, on balance, the religions of mankind had done any good. Judging from what I had seen in Europe and since, the power of God in human affairs was negligible, the Brotherhood of Man a grim jest. If there was a Devil, he seemed the Boss Universal, and he certainly had me.

Most of us Alcoholics liked to sit on our bar stools and fix the world with our grand ideas, on how it should be run. I know I could fix half the worlds problems while I was sitting on the bar stool. While we neglected our duties at home or work. We could also tell you how wronged we had been done by any number of people or government agencies. While spending our money on drink and song, instead of paying our taxes or rent.  

While I was drinking, I didn't want to think about God. I felt guilty for not going along with the religious teachings that were presented to me in my youth. 

It's taken me some time to figure out how to define my higher power. I've been struggling with a definition of God since my teens. 

For my self, for part of my definition of what my higher power is, I try to find the most common place to find God. He is the creator of the universe, as I can't wrap my mind around another concept, that makes sense to me.  God is the defining force for the balance of nature. God, is the power behind physics. Physics, or Gravity, doesn't care about the before or after effect of things moving, it just IS. God just IS. - That's my short version. 

Today, the world might have Decay and Chicanery but I don't have to fix it, drink over it. I can let my Higher Power deal with it. - Thank God. 

* Photo Credit Some rights reserved by luketelliott

---

Disclaimer: This blog is not an official blog of any organization, it's simply a fellowship recovering souls sharing their experiences, strength and hope. We encourage you to comment or to share your own experiences. Please feel free to Sign up to our email list to get these postings in your in-box. - Thanks!

Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired

*

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
- Mark Twain
Hungry Angry, Lonely, Tired. - HALT!

Today, I'm a little Tired, and don't have time for a proper post, so I'm going to borrow form DRA with what they have to say about it. 

"This tried and true slogan helps us to stay in touch with our feelings and needs. Sometimes the onset of anxiety or a sudden drop in mood can be traced to our having forgotten to eat so our blood sugar levels are off kilter. Sometimes we may be carrying a resentment, or feeling lonely, or we are just too tired. Taking a little time out from our busy day to ask ourselves if we are feeling too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired, gets us in touch with our feelings. When we know what we are feeling we can make choices and take the appropriate action to get our needs for food, companionship, or rest, met.

Being too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired, are conditions that leave us more vulnerable to the temptations that lead us away from our program of dual recovery. Part of recovery is learning to pay attention to these inner signals and practice appropriate ways to meet our needs and resolve issues in a manner that will enhance our abstinence and serenity."

Photo *  Some rights reserved by johnwilliamsphd

Happy Habits

"Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits."
- Mark Twain

I get a chuckle out of my wife. She's got habits that I like. Take for instance putting sugar packets into a little holder. If it were me, I'd have been happy to just have left them in the box they came in, or most likely an empty and clean bean can.  No, She's not a Prima donna, and I'm glad for that. But she just has her way of doing things. Nice and proper. And I appreciate and love it,  and try to go along with the program. No, silly not the AA program, HERS.

That brings me to this little excerpt from the Big Book.

"Your husband knows he owes you more than sobriety. He wants to make good. Yet you must not expect too much. His ways of thinking and doing are the habits of years. Patience, tolerance, understanding and love are the watchwords. Show him these things in yourself and they will be reflected back to you from him. Live and let live is the rule. If you both show a willingness to remedy your own defects, there will be little need to criticize each other. - Page 118

I'm happy today, as I've someone in my life that I can love, and return the love. 

---

Disclaimer: This blog is not an official blog of AA or any other organization, it's simply a fellowship recovering souls sharing their experiences, strength and hope. We encourage you to comment or to share your own experiences. Please feel free to Sign up to our email list to get these postings in your inbox.

Promises

  Some rights reserved by cliff1066™

"Tomorrow you promise yourself will be different, yet tomorrow is too often a repetition of today."
- James T. McCay

I'll tell you what. I do believe that there are some promises in the Big Book of AA and there are some that are not, that a good many of us might experience too.

Before Recovery  I was: Divorced, Drunk, and Grumpy when I didn't have a drink. Grumpy when my stomach was empty and was worried about money.
I wanted to change everything around me.

A few years after Recovery: I'm Married, And enjoying it, Grumpy when my stomach is empty and when I'm worried about money.
I wouldn't change a thing.

I'm less grumpy tho' today then I was drinking. I'm happy, actually. Really happy. I get worried, I get stressed and I screw up. All the time. Still.

Those were part of the promises that AA told me about.  Those are the GOOD one. The other promise, is from my wife, I've been also promised that if I'm drinking, all I'll see is her shadow in the door as she's leaving.  That's one of those promises I hope I never see.

It's kind of nice, we don't have to be sick and tied. Today we can be Happy!

---

Disclaimer: This blog is not an official blog of AA or any other organization, it's simply a fellowship recovering souls sharing their experiences, strength and hope.   We encourage you to comment or to share your own experiences.   Please feel free to Sign up to our email list to get these postings in your inbox.

A Tornado in my own mind...

God moves in a mysterious way, His wonders to perform. He plants his footsteps in the sea, and rides upon the storm. - William Cowper


You ever get to a point in your sobriety where you feel like the house in the picture above?

The great blast of the storm Alcoholism is roaring in your head.  You know what you used to do to quiet the howling in your brain.  The answer was always in the bottle.  And, yet....it quit working and the obsession did not quit.  It was not working anymore.

See, I never really drank for fun.  It was always for effect....stop the howling winds of my mind.
I had become like a tornado in my life and others' lives too.  I would blow into a person's life and then roar right back out.  Leaving wreckage that I had created and wouldn't own.

If you're looking for some serenity, some purpose in life and some joy try those Steps.
I'm not gonna tell you that you have to believe in a Higher Power.  But, for me my belief is concrete and real.  I'm beginning to feel those howling winds quieting down a bit.

But, they ramp up when I forget that it was I that asked God for help in the back of my bunk.

Even in sobriety I can be just as destructive as any active drunk on peoples' lives.  That's what the Steps of AA are for me.  I need a way of Life that is constructive and that as been AA's Steps.

God heard me and while he was in and of the storm, he heard and I reached for him.
Sober and quiet is like the clear air after a passing storm.

Love y'all
There is hope.

  - But for every man who drinks, others are involved...  pg 104 Alcoholics Anonymous

---

Disclaimer: This blog is not an official blog of AA or any other organization, it's simply a fellowship recovering souls sharing their experiences, strength and hope. We encourage you to comment or to share your own experiences. Please feel free to Sign up to our email list to get these postings in your inbox.

We are not a glum lot.

"Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."

Abraham Lincoln

"We have been speaking to you of serious, sometimes tragic things.  We have been dealing with alcohol in it's worst aspect.  But we aren't a glum lot.  If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn't want it.  We absolutely insist on enjoying life." - pg 132 Alcoholics Anonymous

Strong admonishment!  "Insist on enjoying Life"  

Remember that we've been given reprieve from that obsession to drink.  For that I'm truly grateful.  AA only promised me one thing under certain conditions.  If I thoroughly follow the path as shown in the Big Book and  remember that it's only a daily reprieve based on my spiritual condition, the obsession to drink is lifted.  

That's it.  Fini.  Nothing extra to add.

What I do with the rest of my life is up to me.  

All I ever wanted was to be truly happy.  

Comfortable in my own skin.

Just how happy are you now that you're sober?  

What a great question.  So many times we share in the rooms and yet we forget just how grateful we should be.  I mean...I don't drink alcohol anymore.  That is awesome!!!  No more chasing a drink down.  Dodging the wife's looks or worried about getting caught in a sobriety check point.  What's not to be happy about?  

Bills?  We all have them.

Domestic woes?  Yup, got them too.

Employment or Lack of Employment?  Yeah, been there, done that.

The real deal is that I do not have to drink anymore.  

Old Abe had it right.  You're as happy as you want to be.  If you don't want to be happy, then you're not.

I chose to be happy today.

I chose to share my happiness today.

And, when some one asks why I'm so happy I'll smile and tell them....

"Because I want to be."

Happiness and Gratitude should go hand in hand.

Thanks to my Higher Power for giving me the strength I need for today.

Love y'all

Don't worry, Be Happy....lol