Fear turns into Usefulness

Fear can be headier than whiskey, once man has acquired a taste for it.

 ~ Donald Dowes

Trembling, I stepped from the hospital a broken man. Fear sobered me for a bit. Then came the insidious insanity of that first drink, and on Armistice Day 1934, I was off again. Everyone became resigned to the certainty that I would have to be shut up somewhere, or would stumble along to a miserable end. How dark it is before the dawn! In reality that was the beginning of my last debauch. I was soon to be catapulted into what I like to call the fourth dimension of existence. I was to know happiness, peace, and usefulness, in a way of life that is incredibly more wonderful as time passes. - Page 8 of Alcoholic's Anonymous

I don't know any people that ever got sucked into an addiction, had planed it that way.  But we found our friend (John Barleycorn, or other drug) numbed us from the fear of dealing with reality.  And we kept going back for more.  Soon the party was over. Some of us figured that out after rather quickly, at a young age and some of us, it took decades...

One thing is clear, though. The 12 Steps, and the fellowship of others suffering the same insanity brings us back from the brink of utter disaster. And then one day, the amazing thing happens, we realized that we helped someone else from brink of disaster. Gave them hope with our words, and encouragement.  Then we've seen we've come full circle.

It's nice to know today that I don't have to fear who I am.  It's incredible. 

Photo:  Some rights reserved by DVIDSHUB

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